Wednesday, October 2, 2013

I Refuse To Empty Today Of It's Joy And Strength

Just as summer was about to begin I became sick this year. It happened suddenly and without warning. Three times this summer I had the same symptoms of extreme fatigue, fever, lethargy, joint pain, a rash and swelling in my bosom area. I made an appointment with my gynecologist, but wasn't able to get in for six weeks to see him. In the meantime, while waiting, each time I had a recurrent bout of sickness my main concern was taking care of my family and homeschooling. Each time I was able to recover and take care of my family. Once we began school this year the bouts of sickness didn't return.

Once I was able to see my doctor it was decided one of the first things to do was send me for a mammogram. A week and a half later I had one done and when I hadn't heard anything after a month I breathed a sigh of relief that I was in the clear. The very next day I received a call that something was seen on my mammogram and I needed to have a repeat one done and also an u/s. A few days later I had that done as well. By this time it was in the last half of September. After viewing the u/s and the mammogram the doctor decided the two areas were questionable and needed to be biopsied. Yes, both sides were involved.

Now I have to say in all these weeks I did wonder to myself how I would react if I received news that I had cancer, but I refused to dwell on that. I decided just like I had the first time I had a breast biopsy that no matter what God was with me. I prayed, I had others praying for me and I trusted that worrying would get me no where. In fact I refuse to use the word worry. If I am bothered by something I would rather take my concern to the Lord, trust in him and pray than worry.

Psalm 138:8 says: The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

This verse tells me that my Lord is concerned about what concerns me! He created me in my mothers womb, he knit me together and he has plans for me. He is merciful and loving. The day of the test I went alone since my husband works nights and needed to sleep. I wasn't concerned about the biopsy, but I was concerned about laying in one position for a long time and having both sides numbed. I asked friends to specifically pray at the time I was to have the procedure done. You know what those prayers carried me through!

When my named was called by the nurse I waltzed back to have the biopsy done after getting changed and putting that skimpy cape on with no concerns. The doctor and nurses were extremely calming and told me before they did anything and explained every noise, click, touch they did before they did it. They talked and included me in their conversation and honestly I had no idea that an hour and a half had passed when they said they were finished. It was a much better and calmer experience than the first time I had a biopsy done.

I was told depending on the testing needed I could hear something the next day or up to a week later. Today I received the wonderful news that both biopsies were benign! I was so happy and very glad I had trusted that the Lord would work things out. Very happy that I didn't waste any time worrying. I keep thinking over and over what Corrie Ten Boom said about worry.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength.” Corrie ten Boom

 I think that is so true. Worry empties our days of joy. It saps our strength. It effects our outlook and focus. And it also dampens our faith and clouds hope. Worry attaches shackles to what is bothering us and keeps us locked in worry instead of in prayer. Worry erodes. There is nothing that worry will add to my life and much it could steal if I gave into it.

When I received that phone call today telling me the biopsies were benign I was tickled and giddy, but not really surprised. One of the first things I did was give thanks to Jesus for the peace that had surrounded me all these months and a wonderful report from the doctor. Then I had to make phone calls and share the evidence with everyone how God was with me the whole time. I feel great today and I choose joy and strength over doom and gloom and worry that adds nothing to my life and could be a negative influence on others. Who knows who I might have had an influence on today by a positive attitude. I believe we can build God's Kingdom more than we realize by our attitudes. I also believe we can also damage the word of our testimony by being negative.

 Proverbs 14:1 cautions that,  The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. 

 My desire is to build my house and the Lord's Kingdom and whatever opportunities I'm given to do that I will be grateful for.  God is Good! He is faithful and I want to sing it from the rooftops!

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